I hope that in 10-20 years time you get to look back on all of this.
That you see all of our adventures, mishaps and mayhems. It really has been a pleasure to watch you grow over the last 11 weeks. You bring more joy to my life each passing day. I always thought growing up I needed a ring on my finger, the perfect job or the newest car to feel at my happiest. Only when I met you I knew I was wrong for all of that time. Seeing your face at 7am smiling for your bottle puts me at my happiest. Hearing you giggle as I make funny faces or hearing you cry when you need a cuddle to fall asleep. That puts me at my happiest. You are my happy place Elsie-Rose, and I hope to be yours for the rest of your life to. Even if I’m not, that’s okay. Aslong as you know how much I cherish every single moment with you, every little milestone then my job is done. To love someone this strongly is like nothing I have felt before. That’s why it got me thinking. I want to tell you 5 things that I wish my mother told me at your age, not that your Mammo wasn’t the best mother. She was. But to read over these things on my worse days would have been enough to change my whole mindset. Which brings me to number 1.
1. There Will Always Be People Who Love You In This World. Even When You Don’t Love Yourself.
On your worst of days, when your breakout of acne has gotten too much. Or your hair doesn’t go right. Or that first love when your 16 breaks your heart. Know people love you. Through all of it. Especially me. There are people in this world who only want the best for you. People who will help you through the worst of days. Help you succeed in life. Those people are your family. I know as a teenage girl we are inevitable to bicker about stupid things, even when we do. Know I love you more than life itself.
2. Find Yourself Before You Find Anyone Else.
I know you’ll have boyfriends, or even girlfriends if that’s what you want. But please don’t go looking for your “missing piece” in somebody else. Because it won’t be there. Only you can make yourself feel whole. Only you can make yourself happy again. So please strive to find yourself. Find what your passion is, find what I’ve been looking for my whole life. Because it doesn’t come in the form of a lover. My missing piece came in the shape of you. Only did I realise that when you entered this World. Maybe your missing piece will be your child, or your career path or the clothes you wear. When you meet the one, it will be incredible. You’ll realise that they are your soulmate probably before your 3rd date. But your soulmate isn’t always going to be loving, they have bad days to. So on them days, pick yourself up and realise that you are strong enough to stand by yourself, even when you have that person. Or just listen to Phebe’s
3. I am Always Proud of You.
I can’t stress this enough, you don’t need the greatest degree or the fancy job for me to be proud of you. For heavens sake I’m the same woman who beamed with pride when you pooped more than once a day. That’s not to say I don’t want the best for you, because I do. I want you to do great in life and will dedicate myself to helping you get wherever you want to be. But just know I am proud of you whatever the outcome, there will be times you fail and times you don’t do as good as you wanted, know I’m still proud. Also follow your own dream, don’t follow mine, or your Aunties, or your Grandparents. You are the only person who will have to live that dream out, not us. So always go with your own dream and know I am super proud of you whatever happens.
I haven’t always been kind. To say I have hurt people is an understatement. I have been selfish in my ways growing up before now. Let’s just say I had to go through it before I understood it and I hope and pray you don’t follow me in that aspect. The only thing I wanted was happiness for myself and never cared of people’s feelings along the way. Don’t think like I used to. You can be happy without hurting people. Not always but most of the time. The one thing I want from you is to be kind. Gentle, don’t think you have to be a b*tch to succeed in this world because you don’t. Be strong but understand people’s own struggles. You’ll never really understand a persons life until you walk a mile in their shoes. So don’t make that persons life more crappy than it already is because I promise you it will eat you up in years to come. Be strong, be independent but be kind. You never know what battle someone else is facing.
Our last one now, which I’ve only thought of since your sleeping next to me while I watch the Disney Short “Piper”.
(If you havent already watched it then you need to)
5. One Day You’ll Have to Leave the Nest and Do it by Yourself.
Well, that isn’t 100% true. Being mine, know I’ll never watch you struggle. But I will leave you grow up and do it for yourself, let you make your own mistakes. You’ll thank me one day. I’m in tears just thinking of you having to finally move out. Which thankfully won’t be for atleast another 18 -25 years. Just know life isn’t always going to be easy, you’ll be hit with a lot of obstacles. Just because you won’t be under the same roof doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. Each obstacle will make you stronger, and as a Mother I have to have faith in this world that it will shape you and not break you.
(Don’t worry I’ll never let it break you)
Even though you can barely keep your eyes open next to me right now I have every bit of faith that you’ll smash this life of yours. With a little help when you need it. Know I love you and you are my life. Without you my existence doesn’t have meaning.
To anyone else who’s took their time to read this, with babies or without. I hope you understand why the 5 are so important for my daughter to know one day.
And as always.
Thank you for sharing this journey with us.
-MLS and Me.