I’ve felt the need to write this for quite some time, even more now that I’ve finished the new Netflix Original Series “13 Reasons Why”. If you haven’t already seen it then i’d advise you to, but its basically all about a teenage girl in ‘college’ who commits suicide for 13 reasons (you could argue that its really 11-12). Although the reasons are all different they all come down to one thing. Bullying, in all shapes and forms. From people name calling, to being disrespectful and unkind daily.
Bullying is getting worse as people are becoming more comfortable in their own skin, we don’t always see it but its happening. As people are feeling more free to be themselves and choose their own sexuality or even gender, its leaving a big double door open for those small minded, nasty human beings to have their own say on the matter. Then I thought, can we as parents make a difference to this?
OF COURSE WE CAN! We as parents raise the children in the classrooms. The ones who someday want to become a dancer, or a teacher or a chef. But the sad truth is that some babies/children won’t get to live out their future, because they are choosing as a last resort to take their own life, all because of bullying.
A study showed in the UK that at least half of suicides among young people are because of bullying. If that doesn’t shock you then I don’t know what will. Bullying needs to stop.
or at least.
There are so many ways bullying happens. The largest mass of it happens in school or over Social Media. Please if your reading this don’t let it continue. If it happens in your school tell someone, If its happening over Social Media tell someone who has the power to stop it. Its so common around young girls that it scares me the thought my daughter could potentially be bullied, did you know 10-14 year old girls are at higher risk to commit suicide according to the study I have already mentioned. Obviously as a mother I will do everything in my power to make sure bullying doesn’t ever happen to my daughter. Another thing I will do to help the futures bullying problem is to try my ut-most best to not raise a bully. Children act out, some times they can act up or be spiteful so where is the line from that to bullying?
The whole overall definition you can find on the link bellow.
But to sum it up, Bullying is repetitive. It happens more than once. It happens due to an imbalance of power. One child or person may use their power, physically or mentally, popularity or an access to embarrassing information to hurt or be-little someone.
So what are the 3 major things we can do or teach to help our children to not become “The Bully”?
1. Be Kind, Share and ‘Play Nice’.
Which should really be a no brainer? There will obviously be times in life where you loose your shit with someone. But know the difference between arguing with somebody who is arguing back and somebody you are completely victimising. Be Kind, for everyone is facing a battle which you know nothing about. Don’t assume someone is happy when they could really be hurting inside. Teach your child to be kind, to share their things with other children or to ask ‘are you okay?’ when someone is sad or crying. Teach them its wrong to push or shove other children, that its wrong to call people hurtful names or not to share. It will stick with them throughout their life.
We yell and say things we shouldn’t sometimes. But what you don’t realise is that your child picks that up and will learn to do it him/herself. If its okay for Mummy to do it, then its okay for me to do it type of scenario. So please try your best to set an Example, share your things with your children and share with others infront of them. Show affection where it needs to be. Your child will follow in your footsteps. Also encourage good behaviour. Say ‘WELL DONE’ when they say or do something nice or ‘good girl’. No they aren’t a dog, but where you reward them they will learn to do more of it. Even buy the odd little toy or sweets/chocolate. Whats the harm in spoiling your child to become a better human being?
3. Punishment for Bullying or Being Unkind.
Let your child know you take bullying very seriously. You won’t allow it in the house, in school or over social media. I’m not saying hurt your child physically to punish them. Take their favourite toy away until they apologise and show a different attitude. It could be a Leapfrog Tablet or the new iPhone. Which ever your child will know they’ve done wrong and will continue to show a different attitude to get the thing back. Put them on the naughty step or ground them from going out. Just make sure they know that bullying is WRONG. It shouldn’t be tolerated and consequences will happen if they become a bully.
Obviously along with those 3 you need to take into consideration your own child’s feelings and emotions. As simple as it seems sometimes it’s probably not. Not all children like to share and that doesn’t make them a bully. But by teaching them 3 simple things it could possibley help them to not become “the bully”.
As any parent you will always be concerned about your child.. Make sure they know they’re loved and above all talk to them. Make sure they are okay before yourself. Hopefully just by doing these things we can all save the lives of our children.
This world is too cruel, it has so much hate in it that it can turn even the happiest people sour. Trying to better it is the first step to achieving a world where peace and love can happen. Nobody deserves to take their own life, not even the bully.
Love one another, instead of judging your differences. No two beings are meant to be the exact same. Just because someone likes different things to you doesn’t make them weird or odd. It makes them, them. Please like Thumper said on Bampi once “Unless you have something nice to say, don’t say it at all”.
It could really save a life.
Please don’t be a bully, even better. Don’t raise one.
-MLS and Me.