So today I was going through my old blog posts and thought why have I not done this blog already?
It’s been on my list since forever but I’ve never got around to writing it. This post is going to be all about the first weeks once you’ve brought your baby home. From sleepless nights to arguing with your partner, or anyone for that matter. Nobody set me up for any of it so hopefully it will help you. Or you can just laugh/cry at my own experiences.
So let’s start from the moment I brought Elsie home, my hormones were EVERYWHERE and I was so tired that I could sleep for a decade. Obviously though you can’t with a newborn.
Hormone Struggles. They won’t last forever.
The day I brought Elsie home I cried my heart out and told my mother I was moving out. For the reason being my little Shih-Tzu of 6 years sniffed my baby while she was in the car seat. As loving as he is, and even though he’s been my protector for 9 months. I just kept having flashes of him biting her face. All I kept thinking was how I’d made something so perfect and how he could change that in an instant. This anxiety only lasted around a week until my hormones got back to normal. He now sniffs Elsie to his hearts content and is so good with her I couldn’t even describe. What I will say is try to rationalise yourself. You know deep down your being over dramatic but as soon as someone says that to you you’d happily push them off a bridge. Just try to stay calm and remember what your mind/body is processing.
That was the moment I nearly lost my s**t. I was so so stupid to think he’d ever hurt her. He’s now her protector and not mine.
He loves to have a nose of her and if she’s crying and we’re out of the room he’ll run to us as if to be like “Mam that little human is crying” he’s so good with her it makes me emotional.
The Arguments – Trust me there will be Many.
The arguments I had with loved ones during that time was nobodies business. You get so angry and wound up about the little things that all hell breaks loose. If someone told me I was doing something wrong or if I told one of them they were doing something wrong there’d be an argument. You have to persevere.. Your both under immense amounts of stress that you can say some things you don’t mean. It will all calm down after the first few weeks, you’ll both have a routine going. You’ll help each other more. But just remember it’s not all about you anymore. There’s a baby in the picture now. So that means the both of you do need to try a little harder, look after each other but above all, your making sure that little human is okay before yourselves. The little bickering will soon stop when you realise how you don’t want to be having these arguments infront of your baby. They will be the hardest few weeks in the relationship. It does really make you or break you. So don’t think for a second the arguments aren’t normal they are. Obviously if they last 6 months then something isn’t right but for the first few weeks be easy on yourself and your loved ones. Top Tip: If you do feel yourself getting overly stressed remove yourself from the situation, whether that be taking the baby for a walk, going to bed for an hour or even just visiting a friend. Don’t stay and make things worse. Once you’ve calmed down, return and work stuff out. It helps I promise.
Tiredness – You really do believe you’ll die of sleep deprivation.
You won’t. But it does feel like you will at the time.
Obviously your newborn will be waking every 2-3 hours through the day/night for feed and boy how that can make even the happiest person grumpy. For a person who needs at least 8 hours to function it KILLED ME. Broken sleep is the worse and you just think will this last forever? It won’t. They may not get amazingly good with sleeping but it gets better than that. I can always remember asking my mother could I come home for a few hours to sleep. When she saw me she said how ill I looked, and I did. I had black eyes, a skinny face and a very tired head on my shoulders. I hadn’t been sleeping or even eating for that matter since I had so much to do with the baby. I felt ill in myself. Just getting those few hours in made me feel the world better. So do ask for help when you need it. If you have someone you trust to look after the baby for a few hours use the time wisely and go to sleep. Another thing I’ll bring you onto…
Leave the mess, Sleep.
I bet you have heard so many people say it. But honestly. When that baby sleeps, you sleep to. Because that is where you’ll be able to keep your energy levels okay. I never listened. I cleaned my life away while Elsie slept and made myself ill. Don’t do it. Trust me. Not even a clean house is worth that exhaustion. She’s now 4 months old and when she naps so do I if I’m tired and it’s the best thing I’ve done.
Last but not least.
It does get easier – I promise.
That little baby who slept 2-3 hours at a time. Now naps 3 times a day and sleeps from 8.30pm until 8am, sometimes it can vary from 7am-9am but honestly how can I even complain? It’s amazing. I genuinely think that’s because of her good routine she’s in to because ever since I’ve done it she’s slept like an angel, so if you haven’t seen our routine I have done a blog on it so feel free to check it out. The hormones have settled and I’m just enjoying life with my little sunshine now. It gets so much better, obviously there will be hard parts to come like teething and controlled crying (which I doubt I’ll ever do, I’m a sucker for her) but I genuinely think the first few weeks are the HARDEST by far. I thought at points I was going to pass out and sometimes nearly did. Take all the help you can get and sleep. Please sleep. Enjoy your time with your precious little baby. They aren’t babies for long.
I think that’s it for this blog, please take my advice on the sleep thing, I know I’ve stressed it enough but I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy to feel that ill at them points. It’s not worth it. You want to be enjoying the time with your newborn.
Those weeks can really make or break you as a person or even as a family. They nearly got the better of me, but because of my amazing support system they didn’t. They made me. Now me and Elsie have this amazing bond and I could not feel happier or healthier.
If you have any questions feel free to contact me via my contact page or message me on Instagram/Facebook.
I hope you have a great Friday. I have a few baby free hours to get my hair done so I’m going to feel funky fresh by the end of the day. Yes I did just say funky fresh.
I am such a Mam.
-MLS and Me. X