It’s always been something I’ve read on social media, from pregnant mums or mums with babies.
“You find out your true friends once you have children”
*Que full winded status of them then bitching about said friends*
Which I’m not going to do, since even though I don’t see some of my friends that much anymore, I still love them, they were a big part of my life at one point.
But now I have a new part, which is bringing up my little sunshine. It does make me sad that some don’t want to be a part of that or can’t make time for it, but never the less I appreciate the people who do massively. You know who you are.
So to answer the question, no I don’t think you find out your true friends after having a baby, because I knew mine before hand. I have a great bunch of friends who come together when times get hard. – that is true friendship. But I do think you find out who your “best” friends are.
I have a few friends who I do call my “best” friends, who are in my life as constants who I knew would be before giving birth. They make an effort to text, call or even make time to come and see us both.
If your a new time mum then you know that your in a bubble pretty much for 9 months of pregnancy and probably 9 months post pregnancy to. That phone you should really answer usually goes on silent for most of that time. So the people who make the effort to see you really do deserve a medal.
I would also never blame said friends for not being a huge part in mine and Elsie’s life for the simple reason they don’t have babies of their own. You will never realise just how important or how much of a huge part of your life a baby is until you have one. I understand people get busy with their own lives to. But I know for sure if any of them had babies now I’d try my hardest to make a presence in that babies life, because a little life is so precious.
So to all those new mums, or mums to be. Don’t be scared of loosing true friends, you’ll always have true friends. But, your best ones will be the ones to call with breakfast when you haven’t eaten for 3 days straight because your babies are teething.
Tyler Hewitt – this one goes out to you for making me ample amounts of tea. Washing my hair post-birth. Bringing me lunch and just making Elsie smile every single time you walk through the door.
Without you both I would really be questioning the whole “does having a baby make you realise who your true friends are” but I knew you’d both be there long before Elsie and you’ll be here long after she’s grown up to!
So to answer it.
You don’t loose true friends, you just realise who the best are.
And I couldn’t live without them.
Also to add a positive to a negative, you also make a ton of new friends after a baby to! Lots of other mums that are going through exactly what you are. I love nothing more than taking Elsie to playgroup and having a cuppa with all my lovely mum friends while Elsie plays with all their lovely little babies.
You loose friendships but you gain so many more, friends that you may even have for life.
I’m 20 and I’ve made friendships with 35 year olds from having Elsie and honestly it’s something that wouldn’t have happened to me otherwise. It’s just really nice to be around people who are helping you and laughing with you all at the same time.
So don’t feel disheartened if you have lost some friends I guarantee you there will be lots more knocking at your door.
-MLS and Me.