So today nothing has really gone right.
People probably look into my social media and think life is completley perfect, but it isn’t. Everyone has down days. Including me.
Today I have worried about finances, as every other mother probably does on maternity leave. I’ve got a headache from the teething fairy and I’ve just got myself all emotional since today is my Grandads birthday.
So right now I’m currently crying into a pillow on the sofa while my Elsie is with her Nanny. Sad right? And no I don’t want sympathy. I just wanted to show a different side to all this parenting. Not every day is a good one and that usually isn’t determined by your child either.
Just because we’re mothers now doesn’t mean we have no worries in the world? Or emotions for that matter.
Being a mother is hard and when things pile up such as money worries, or even just the flu. Everything can get a little tense. Because you now have a screaming baby to play with while all these thoughts are flinging around in your head. Luckily I am baby free this evening so I can slot in a little mental breakdown in my schedule.
Another thing that crops up in my down days is the way I look, I have lost all confidence in myself since having a baby, which is probably normal. It just sucks. A lot. And doesn’t help when people are constantly saying “oh you’ve lost weight” or “your eyes look tired” I know I look rubbish. I’m running on thin air and carry a 9KG baby everywhere. Give me some slack.
Oh, did I mention it’s approaching the time of the month to. Good things come in threes ey!
Hopefully for me I’ll probably get up in about half hour and shake off this sad aura, clean my life away and go to bed. Hoping to wake up with a better mind frame and happier emotions. I know as soon as I see Elsie I’ll be fine again, because she literally makes any bad day a better one.
But it’s also for her why I worry so much, I never want her to be without or ever feel sad because of anything of my doing. I want my life sorted for the sake of my daughter not myself.
I could only imagine how women feel with Postnatal and I have been so lucky not fall into the cloud of it all since a new baby can really piss off your emotions! But to the women who do and cope with babies and all these neseccites that come with it all I can do is applaud you. You are a better woman than myself.
It sucks to since a down day will always follow a very lovely few other ones. Me and Elsie have had a blast together the last few days laughing together and interacting in any way we know how, such as blowing bubbles and screaming. But it’s like as soon as she’s gone my mind does overtime !
So whoever has sat and read my moaning for the last 5 minutes I’m sorry you’ll never get them back.
I’m just lucky at these times to have such a good support group around me to get me out of sumps like this.
So here’s hoping the next blog post will be a happier for one.
But for now, I’m about to go make another coffee and try and get through this day the best I know how.
– A Very Tired and Emotional Chloe