Hi Guys, I hope your all well and enjoying this time of the year !
I know we have been. If you know me you’ll know just how much I love Christmas and everything that comes with it. The decorations, the lights and most of all. Getting an excuse to spend the time with loved ones. If you know me well you’ll know that’s all I’ve prayed for since Elsie was born is for her first Christmas to be a white one. We woke up Sunday morning to that wish and I’ve never been so happy in all of my life (probably up there with her being born). We went for a little family walk and then took her on the sledge. Much to my amazement. She tried to eat the snow. Just like she does everything else !!
I honestly think I needed that day so much to. I smiled from beginning to end. After our walk we got home, turned the heating on full blast, put Elf on the TV and all had a hot chocolate and cream. Elsie even had a treat and was allowed to join in and have a “choccy boccy”
The reason I say I really needed that day was because I had a panic attack on Friday. Which is a bit of bump in the road since I’ve been doing so well with coping with my anxiety. If your familiar with my blogs you’ll know I’ve only had one since Elsie was born and I used to have them as regular occurrences before I fell pregnant. I think it was triggered by trying to do so much at once and my mind was just over loaded with things. I came home from work Friday pretty flustered, I then had to rush around to get ready to go out for the evening and I think I was stressing so much it was my bodies way to tell me to slow down.
It was still as awful as I remember them all. I usually calm myself down by telling myself I can breathe but once I had no feeling in my hands or chest then my head didn’t really work well after that. Once I regained control over myself and my body I had Elsie placed into my arms, and I can’t explain the feeling but if any of you have seen the Green Mile it was one of them moments where it just felt like she sucked the badness out of me and I was okay again. I was happy. I realised all I needed in life was what was in my arms. She then said “mamam” and tried to pull my hair out and then giggled away.
I always say she is my happiness. She’s what keeps my mind off anxiety and if I could have recorded the day then you would’ve seen for yourself just how much having her helps me.
But like I said. It’s a bump in the road. It’s not the end of the road. Everyone gets set backs and that was mine and now I have to build myself up and come back from that. Which I’m sure I will do and I’ll keep you posted. This week has just been so much going on.
Another thing that happened this past week was that Elsie got to see Santa for the first time. She actually didn’t mind him either!
I didn’t really know how she’d take it but she didn’t take much notice of him in all fairness. She was probably more focused on what was for lunch.
But all this lead up to Christmas is making me so excited for the big day and seeing her face light up. I don’t care if she wants to play with all the wrapping paper all day instead of the presents it will be such a magical experience that I will keep in my heart forever. I’m also thinking about doing a little Christmas Day Vlog/Video just for me to get to watch back so if you’d like me to upload it here just let me know in the comments. I love taking you all on this journey with us.
I’ll be sure to post a Christmas Eve/Christmas Day blog for you all and mostly for me and Elsie to look back on. I’m not to sure if there will be a blog post in between and if not I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. Take every moment of it in. Surround yourself with people you love and realise that no matter what life throws at you. You have all these wonderful people around you.
See you soon .
-MLS and Me.